Missing Madison before I've gone

Only 9 days left in Madison. It's quite sad, I really love this place. Things I'll miss:

- the tiny door out to my back porch

- corner patio at Genna's

- Mango Mojito at the Icon

- Jolly Bob's

- beer drinking and lake watching at the Terrace

- farmers markets on the square with spicy cheese bread

- drinking wine on the grass around the capital for concerts on the square

- biking to trader joe's and putting my groceries in my awesome basket

- Hook's melt with greens and wine tastings at Barrique's on Monroe St

- Babcock ice cream

- Ian's pizza

- Margaritas with the ladies at Pedro's

- Awesome friends

I think the moral of that list is that Madison is great for eating and drinking. Especially eating and drinking outside- I've obviously forgotten about all of the great winter activities. Since my last day of work last Friday, I've been happily unemployed and trying to enjoy all of the above listed things as much as humanly possible before I go. It's been brilliant and I know that I'll go through some kind of withdrawal.

I only regret that in order to survive here over the last 2.5 years, I've had to spend the majority of my time working and traveling for work. Why is it that we Americans have such trouble finding a good life balance? So many people have to choose between being well-rested, but bored because they have no money to spend or full of stress, but unhappy because there's no time to do anything fun with their money.

That is going to be one of my goals for my time in Morocco- to find a happy life balance. I hope to develop routines that divide my time each day among the following:

- Exercise (I just ordered some yoga/pilates videos to do in my apartment)

- Study (for the GRE and the Foreign Service Exam, Arabic, French, Spanish)

- Work (teaching English at AMIDEAST)

- Relaxation (catching up on reading, movies, hanging at Mohamed's store, chats with loved ones)

I'm not so naive as to think I'll get to each thing each and every day, but a girl's got to have goals! In PC I wasted a lot of my time on satellite television and I wince when thinking about all that could have been accomplished in that time.

The apartment is almost packed. Pictures are off the walls, books off of shelves, stacks of boxes in every corner- proof that it's really drawing to a close. Everything gets moved into storage a week from Sunday and then I'm off for some family time in Michigan. I'll post again once I get there...

The Whole Story - Part 3

The End?

As the end of my service approached, I had to plan my next move. Mohamed and I didn't talk about my departure much, but there was an understanding that I was leaving and he was staying. Due to immigration and visa policies, there were only two options if I wanted to pursue the relationship. I could stay, or I could bring him back to the States on a fiance visa. With a fiance visa, we'd have to get married within three months of entering the states.

Mohamed's first time bowling, one of our last excursions

At 24 and pretty close to broke, I didn't feel in a position to get married and support someone else. I had no real experience and didn't know how long it was going to take to get a job. The thought of bringing Mohamed home with me was way too overwhelming to consider and frankly, I didn't want to get married! I also didn't want to stay. As much as I loved that country, I had been gone for two years and was excited to go home, see family and friends and try to make a new life.

So we spent a few last days together in the capital and said our goodbyes. It was possibly the hardest thing I've ever done, but at that time I knew it was the right move. I left.

Back in the states, I did my best to re-adapt. I got a job, found an apartment, dated. For the past two years I've lived a good life, but Mohamed was never far from my thoughts. I never quite new what to say when we'd talk on the phone and he'd say he missed me. I missed him too and I'd tell him that, but we'd just end up in the same spot during the next call.

Then, a few months ago I was at dinner with a friend here in Madison and we started talking about relationships. A comment she made during that dinner got me thinking about what I was doing with my life. Why had I left him? My original reasons no longer held true, so what was keeping me from going back?

The longer I thought about going back and pursuing our relationship, the more my mood lifted and the more it seemed like the right thing to do. So after a few months of pondering and running the potential scenarios through my mind, I called Mohamed and asked if he wanted me to come back. He did!

So, now I go back to see where things lead. I'm happy to report that things are working very much in my favor and as the pieces come together, I can't help but feel more and more strongly that I'm headed in the right direction. I haven't been this confident that i'm making the right move since I left two and half years ago!

As for the logistics, I leave from Detroit on August 20th for Alexandria, Egypt where I'll attend a certification program for Teaching English as a Second Language (TESL). Then, with my certificate in hand, it's off to the capital where I begin working as an English teacher on September 27th. It's a pretty good gig and I look forward to enjoying the country on a bit more than my PC stipend. I'll even have breaks long enough to travel!

My home starting September 25

I hope to keep this blog a bit more active this second time around, so be sure to look for updates. I also really appreciate everyone's comments and encouragement, so be sure to keep them coming!

The Whole Story - Part 2 of 3

The Middle

Soon after the party, Mohamed went back to the capital (a 14 hour bus ride away) and I officially moved into my own apartment. Life on my own was great and having Mohamed made it even better. In an odd way, being long distance was the perfect scenario.

hanging out in the capital

With PC headquarters also in the capital, I had to go there for medical visits, training sessions and other random activities. These events were all opportunities for me to see Mohamed and when I was there he was my tour guide. We spent days walking the city. It was freeing to be in a place where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t have to worry about people seeing us together. We could hold hands and go to cafes. We visited all of the main attractions and explored all of the places tourists would never go. I had an insider view of the city and loved every second of it.

Seeing the sights

When we weren’t out and about in the city, we were at Mohamed’s hanut (general store). When he was 11 years old, his family sent him to the capital in search of better opportunities. His uncles had a few stores and he moved in with them to learn the business. Soon after I met him, he opened a store on his own (he now has two!). His brother worked with him, but hours in the hanut business are long. He generally works from 7 am to 11 pm and is sometimes lucky enough to get a nap in the afternoon. When I was in town, I’d bring a book or my journal and occasionally reorganize snack cakes. The best part of life in the hanut was all of the delicious food that Mohamed would make for me. He’s an outstanding cook- even with just one pan and a tiny gas stove. I was spoiled.

Me in Mohamed's newest hanut

Since his family lived near my town, he also had a perfectly legitimate excuse to visit a few times per year. Being so sporadic, the sneaking around was minimal and we managed to be together without anyone in town finding out. I lived on the opposite side of town from my host family and the friends I hung out with, so there was never a chance of an unexpected visitor. I also lived in a building with three apartments, so as long as we didn’t go in or out of the building together, no one in town suspected a thing. It was almost as though the stars were perfectly aligned in our favor.
Mohamed hanging out with my host family

Hiking near my town

Being linked by my host family, I was even able to visit Mohamed’s village and meet his family on a few occasions. He has a great family. His mom, Khadija manages the household in the village while his dad works for a major tea producer in Casa- he spent most of his time away only returning for visits a few times per year. He also has three sisters- Fatima and Rkia (older) and Naima (younger). When I met them, all three were single living with their mother in the village, but two are now married and have small children. His two brothers are both younger and work with Mohamed in his stores.

Mohamed's youngest sister Naima at her wedding

When we weren’t together, we spent our time texting. Sometimes 30 messages in a day, but they were significantly cheaper than making calls. A text based relationship seems odd, but even so he was able to help me with my language skills and it never seemed like he was very far away. Knowing he was there got me through many difficult times and I’m not sure that I would have survived the full two years without Mohamed.

Thanks for everyone’s patience—Part three will be out soon!