like falling

today i had some errands to run. one of them involved picking up the ID cards of some women and making photocopies so we can officially start our "women's club" at the youth center. At the home of woman number two, something crazy happened. we chatted for a bit, then i got her card and made to leave.

she walked me to the door and it came up (it seems to be constantly coming up these days), that i have only 5 months left in this country. she told me how other volunteers have come and gone, and they are missed a little, but they are not like me. she said that she will miss me so much, and she doesn't know what she will do when i go. then her eyes filled up with tears. i kissed her and said how much i would miss her too, but inside my heart was breaking.

i've lived in this town for 19 months. these people are my family, they've taken me in, they've become a part of me and i only have 5 more months with them. at this point the time is going by so fast, that it's like i cant stop it, i can't catch up or get my bearings. yesterday i had 6 months to go, a week ago, i had 8 months. My excitement for the future makes it difficult to live in the moment and really take advantage of the little time i have left. I constantly think about the things to come. i can't even imagine what the day is going to be like that i leave this place, and i'm already dreading it.

on sunday i'm leaving and i wont be back for two months. a few meetings, a month of summer camp and a whole lot of leftover vacation time will keep me away, and while i'm excited for a fun summer, i'm also feeling sad.

the next 5 months are going to be jam packed with emotion. the time will continue to fly by, but i'm gonna do my best to focus on what's important right now. i'll never get these 5 months back, so they better be good.

And life goes on

According to this little blog here, i havent posted since March 6th. How does that happen? i mean march 6th was almost three months ago. You guys must think i'm really busy over here. And i'm happy to report that i actually have been.

Here are the highlights.

The first week of march i traveled 4 days up north to reach my Spring Language Camp. I was the coordinator of this camp and was in a very small way responsible for its success. We had only 4 volunteers, and 120 students. Needless to say it was not a good ratio and we were a bit overwhelmed. In the end, it was a good camp and the students had fun. Nothing too exciting to report about that.

Following camp, i circled around and traveled down the eastern edge of the country. On my way i was able to do a camel trek into the Sahara with some friends. Now i think most of you know how much i love water. fountains, lakes, waterfalls, oceans. you name it, i love it. So going into this desert trek i was excited, but not too much so. I mean how cool can a place be that has NO water?

I'm happy to report that the answer to that question is: EXTREMELY COOL. I really can't even describe how amazingly beautiful the desert is. it's a mesmerizing ocean of sand. And look i'm not even a good enough writer to make it sound half as wonderful as it is.

We started the trip with an hour and a half camel ride into the desert. We arrived on a day when there was a sand storm, so it as a bit crazy. We couldnt see very far, and our ears, eyes and mouths were filled with sand. When we reached our camp, we ran up the dunes despite the storm, and a few digital camera's suffered the sand's wrath. That night we laid out under the stars, and can i just say that there is no more incredible view of the night sky then in the desert. If only i was better versed in astrology....

The next morning we woke up at 5:30 AM to the most beautiful clear blue skies. All was calm and we ran up another dune to take in the sunset. Again unfortunatly words just cannot do it justice. It was one of the most incredible things i've ever experienced. We could see for miles, just rolling hills of sparkling sand. Yowza. Then we rode the camels back to town, and in a flash, it was all over. If anyone EVER has the opportunity to do this, you must not turn it down.

Once home, i had a few weeks of normal life with classes and lunch with friends and all that jazz. Then the madness started up all over again.

On May 5th i traveled 4 hours to the big city in order to pick up my first American visitors. After 20 months of being on my own, i was both excited and nervous. I mean will i be a good tour guide? will they like it here? So many questions ran through my mind as i waited at the airport. And then i saw them! My dad and sister walking over to the baggage claim. Hooray! they made it!

I can talk about my experience in this country, doing this job, until i'm blue in the face, but sadly, most people just dont get it. and it's not their fault. it's impossible to "get it" without actually seeing it. That was what i was most excited about. Actually showing my dad and sister where i live, the people i see, what i do. Even how it is to travel and just walk the streets.

After a night in the city, we traveled (very authentically) to my site. The next four days were spent hiking, eating at the homes of my favorite families, going to classes and just hanging out. They were lucky to come just before the current heat wave that is melting me at this very moment.

We then traveled around the southern half of the country and i think they were able to get a good taste of what this place has to offer. Aside from a small sick spell, the entire trip was a big success. It was very interesting for me to watch them take everything in. My dad was fascinated with which brands of automobiles are here. I mean, this is just not something i've spent very much time thinking about!After a week of traveling, my sister and I sent dad off to the airport, and headed south to spend some quality time at the beach.

We were total beach bums for three days and loved every minute of it. She was then able to spend 3 more days at my house before she too had to fly out.

The very day my sister left, i traveled 4 more hours in order to pick up a friend from college. My crazy vacation month was not over yet. Talat was here for only 6 days (not nearly long enough!) but she was also able to get a taste of this culture as well as a glimse into my life, and i really appreciate the effort it took for her to come.

So i guess this is a good time for a big thanks to all of my wonderful visitors. I really appreciate you all coming out!

So that brings me to now, where once again i am all alone in the sweltering heat. But it's a good alone. After a month of constant companionship, i'm happy to say that i am very much enjoying having my apartment back to normal, and just being a very lazy girl.

I have six months left here. I can hardly believe it and my mind is filled with thoughts of the next step. The next three months look like they will be some of my busiest yet, so i'm trying hard not to get ahead of myself.

And please dont ask me what i will do when i leave.

conversations with mamass

I've been here for 21 months now. there are times when i feel like i've learned all i could possibly learn, and nothing can really shock me anymore. and then i have a conversation that's like a slap in the face and i realize.....there's so much i dont know.

This conversation followed lunch at my friend mamass' house about a month ago.

Setup: We started talking about Islam, the Coran, and what exactly is in there about the infamous veil. Warning, this conversation is very paraphrased.

Me: Well, you know it doesn't actually say in the Coran "Women must wear a veil."

Mamass: Yes it does. And also we can't wear perfume out of the house.

Me: Um, ok. Why not?

Mamass: Because the men. If they see our hair or smell perfume they will WANT us. It is uncontrollable. Muslim men are not like American men.

Me: Yeah, i dont really get that. I mean, on the inside, all men are the same. So what is the big difference between Muslim men and all the others out there.

Mamass: Well, you know, Muslim men are cut. You know, down there (points to crotch region)

Me: (blank stare as i try to figure out what she is trying to say. could she really think that only Muslim men are circumcised??) Ummm.....well, actually you know that American men are also circumcised.

Mamass: No they aren't. Only Muslim men are circumcised.

Me: (more blank stare. is she really gonna argue with me on this?) Um, actually, yes they are. You know Abraham (she does), circumcision started way back then. It started with the Jews. Even way back them before there was Islam, men were circumcised.

Mamass: (look of confusion on her face) Really?? Everyone here says that only Muslim men are circumcised.

Me: I swear to god! Almost all American men are circumcised.

Mamass: ALL American men?

Me: Well, not ALL. I would say like 95 out of 100. (yes i pulled this statistic from no where, just go with it)

Mamass. Oh, thats like nothing. not like muslim men.

Me: (defeated) Ok.