like falling

today i had some errands to run. one of them involved picking up the ID cards of some women and making photocopies so we can officially start our "women's club" at the youth center. At the home of woman number two, something crazy happened. we chatted for a bit, then i got her card and made to leave.

she walked me to the door and it came up (it seems to be constantly coming up these days), that i have only 5 months left in this country. she told me how other volunteers have come and gone, and they are missed a little, but they are not like me. she said that she will miss me so much, and she doesn't know what she will do when i go. then her eyes filled up with tears. i kissed her and said how much i would miss her too, but inside my heart was breaking.

i've lived in this town for 19 months. these people are my family, they've taken me in, they've become a part of me and i only have 5 more months with them. at this point the time is going by so fast, that it's like i cant stop it, i can't catch up or get my bearings. yesterday i had 6 months to go, a week ago, i had 8 months. My excitement for the future makes it difficult to live in the moment and really take advantage of the little time i have left. I constantly think about the things to come. i can't even imagine what the day is going to be like that i leave this place, and i'm already dreading it.

on sunday i'm leaving and i wont be back for two months. a few meetings, a month of summer camp and a whole lot of leftover vacation time will keep me away, and while i'm excited for a fun summer, i'm also feeling sad.

the next 5 months are going to be jam packed with emotion. the time will continue to fly by, but i'm gonna do my best to focus on what's important right now. i'll never get these 5 months back, so they better be good.