The Whole Story - Part 2 of 3

The Middle

Soon after the party, Mohamed went back to the capital (a 14 hour bus ride away) and I officially moved into my own apartment. Life on my own was great and having Mohamed made it even better. In an odd way, being long distance was the perfect scenario.

hanging out in the capital

With PC headquarters also in the capital, I had to go there for medical visits, training sessions and other random activities. These events were all opportunities for me to see Mohamed and when I was there he was my tour guide. We spent days walking the city. It was freeing to be in a place where I didn’t know anyone and didn’t have to worry about people seeing us together. We could hold hands and go to cafes. We visited all of the main attractions and explored all of the places tourists would never go. I had an insider view of the city and loved every second of it.

Seeing the sights

When we weren’t out and about in the city, we were at Mohamed’s hanut (general store). When he was 11 years old, his family sent him to the capital in search of better opportunities. His uncles had a few stores and he moved in with them to learn the business. Soon after I met him, he opened a store on his own (he now has two!). His brother worked with him, but hours in the hanut business are long. He generally works from 7 am to 11 pm and is sometimes lucky enough to get a nap in the afternoon. When I was in town, I’d bring a book or my journal and occasionally reorganize snack cakes. The best part of life in the hanut was all of the delicious food that Mohamed would make for me. He’s an outstanding cook- even with just one pan and a tiny gas stove. I was spoiled.

Me in Mohamed's newest hanut

Since his family lived near my town, he also had a perfectly legitimate excuse to visit a few times per year. Being so sporadic, the sneaking around was minimal and we managed to be together without anyone in town finding out. I lived on the opposite side of town from my host family and the friends I hung out with, so there was never a chance of an unexpected visitor. I also lived in a building with three apartments, so as long as we didn’t go in or out of the building together, no one in town suspected a thing. It was almost as though the stars were perfectly aligned in our favor.
Mohamed hanging out with my host family

Hiking near my town

Being linked by my host family, I was even able to visit Mohamed’s village and meet his family on a few occasions. He has a great family. His mom, Khadija manages the household in the village while his dad works for a major tea producer in Casa- he spent most of his time away only returning for visits a few times per year. He also has three sisters- Fatima and Rkia (older) and Naima (younger). When I met them, all three were single living with their mother in the village, but two are now married and have small children. His two brothers are both younger and work with Mohamed in his stores.

Mohamed's youngest sister Naima at her wedding

When we weren’t together, we spent our time texting. Sometimes 30 messages in a day, but they were significantly cheaper than making calls. A text based relationship seems odd, but even so he was able to help me with my language skills and it never seemed like he was very far away. Knowing he was there got me through many difficult times and I’m not sure that I would have survived the full two years without Mohamed.

Thanks for everyone’s patience—Part three will be out soon!

The Whole Story - part 1 of 3

Some of you may be surprised to learn that I've decided to return to Morocco.

When you ask me why and I say "I'm going back for a boy," I'm guessing you'll have some questions. Who is this mysterious man who pulls me back to Africa? Why haven't you heard of him before? You might even go back through my blogs and notice that he is conspicuously absent from the majority of my posts. You may even think that I've gone mad and made him up.

It is for those very reasons and to answer all of your questions that I've decided to go back in time and tell you our story from the beginning. Hopefully when I'm through you'll have a better understanding of why I've decided to go back and what the future may hold.

The Beginning

I met Mohamed in January of 2006. I had been in my Peace Corps site for just over a month and was still living with my host family. We were about to celebrate Eid (the big feast). Eid is the most important Muslim holiday. Each family is required to sacrifice an animal and people come home from all regions of Morocco and the world to be with their families.

A few days before Eid I returned to my host family's house to find a strange man in our kitchen. He was cutting up vegetables and my host sister Khadija was in the back holding a rabbit. The strange man proceeded to go outside and help my host sister slaughter the little grey animal. I'm sure my eyes were fairly wide at this point as I think that was the first time I ever witnessed a slaughter. The guy was amused by my shock and chuckled before preparing the rabbit for his entry into the tajine.

"Mohamed's making us dinner!" my host sister (Khadija) exclaims. They continue to prepare the meal and I can tell that Mohamed and Khadija get along well, they were laughing and talking the whole time. I couldn't understand anything they were saying, but in time I found out that Mohamed is a 2nd cousin of the family who was returning to his village about 40 mins away from my town. Since the bus gets him in late, he generally stays with my host family for a night before getting in a van to his village.

It wasn't until the next morning when we were eating breakfast that I noticed how cute Mohamed was. But before I knew it, he was gone.

He wasn't gone for long. During his month long vacation from the capital he came back to my town and stayed with my host family on and off. I was still adjusting to life in Morocco and with my host family and it was winter, so I spent a lot of time sitting in the sun outside of their house reading, writing or watching people come and go. Mohamed would sit with me and we'd "talk-" well, as much as my language skills would allow after only 4 months in the country. He was really good about asking me questions, speaking slowly and helping me with my Arabic. Much more patient than anyone else in the family and I really appreciated his company.

It wasn't long before I started liking Mohamed and I could tell he liked me too. I was torn though- what to do! I was in this small community where I was to live and work for two years, pursuing a man could be truly scandalous! What would my host family think if they found out?

It was around this time that a few other PC volunteers came into town and one night I very sneakily went with them to the one place we could get alcohol- a big fancy hotel on a hill. I had two beers and they were quite successful at lowering my inhibitions. After enjoying ourselves at the bar, I headed back to my host family's around 10 pm. When I arrived, the house was full of music and people. They were having a party! Well, how convenient that a party was in full swing on the night when I had two beers and therefore joined directly into the fun.

Shots from the party-

After a while, Mohamed and another host sister (also named Khadija) snuck off to the back of the house. When they came back, Mohamed was dressed as a women in one of the traditional black wraps they all wore. The entire room bursts into laughter and Mohamed starts dancing with the girls. This was a rare opportunity. Generally, men and women don't do much dancing together, but in his disguise, he was in the girls club. We formed a circle and lightly joined hands. We danced for a bit and I made my first true move- I flipped my hand around and squeezed.

It was brief, but we both knew what it meant and I would consider that the start of our almost two year relationship while I was in Morocco.

To be continued....

and time whirls on

it's saturday afternoon and i'm lounging on my balcony enjoying the sunshine of the beautiful afternoon. i'm sitting on my gorgeous world market patio furniture. writing this on my sweet new work laptop. "stealing" the internet of an unknown stranger who hasn't secured his network.

my, how life has changed. this blog was created to share my experiences of life as a PC volunteer, but in an attempt to do more writing i'm thinking of transitioning it to a blog of all purposes. i don't know if anyone out there is still reading this, but let's give it a whirl!

my last post was way back in february and i was in the midst of a tumultuous job search. i was also still struggling with the transition back to life in america and i'm happy to report good news on both fronts. I accepted a job in Madison, Wisconsin and have been there for two months already. i'm going to save myself the trouble of mentioning the name of my new employer so that i can be free to speak candidly in the future.

For now i'm happy with the job and am looking forward to completing training and getting out there with a real project. keeping my fingers crossed to be assigned a client in a warm, sunny location as i will be traveling back and forth for the next year or so.

Madison is a very nice city. a medium sized college town with lots of restaurant diversity and constant things to do. i live next to the biggest park in town! with the weather growing nicer each day, i'm looking forward to getting out for some real exploration. any visitors are more than welcome!

i still miss the simplicity and routine of life in morocco. in the beginning it seemed boring, but i learned to entertain myself and quickly came to love and be comforted by the daily routine.

get up around 10
eat breakfast, clean, listen to the tv as i got ready for my day
an hour at the internet cafe
visit the home of one of my favorite women, help her finish lunch and eat with the family
teach women's english class
home for an hour to relax and prepare for my youth classes
go to the dar chebab to teach and hang out with my students
make dinner
watch tv
20 minutes of reading and off to sleep

ok, so that was just my wednesday/friday routine, but i think you get the idea. i was so relaxed, so non-stressed. nothing was too pressing, everything could be missed if need be. i didn't need to tell anyone i was coming for lunch, just to show up. it was glorious and now that it's over, i feel badly for not appreciating it more at the time.

i miss couscous on fridays. i miss wearing my glasses everyday because i had no one to impress. i miss sugary mint tea, lemon cookies and gossip with my best friends. i miss looking forward to a night with an american in the big city.

but america certainly has its perks. i no longer feel eyes all over me as i walk down the street. here i get to eat raisin bran crunch every morning and can eat salsa without having spent 30 minutes to make it. i can go out for a beer at any time, with any one. my friends and family are within a much shorter reach. target. i really love target.

my focus right now is on setting new routines for this new working woman life.

each life with it's own pros and cons, but honestly i'm still undecided as to which i prefer. am i meant to live out my days leisurely on the moroccan coast? or to rise to the top of the american workforce and use my frequent flyer miles to travel the world?

either way for today i'm happy to be enjoying the sunshine on my very own balcony in my very own apartment. stay tuned!